* Always take the time to smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
* If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek... nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
* If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
* It's always darkest just before dawn...so if you're going to steal the neighbors' newspaper, that's the time to do it.
* It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown... and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.
* No problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
* My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several family members ended up dying of tuberculosis.
* It takes a big man to cry.. .but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
* When I'm feeling down I like to whistle... it makes my neighbor's dog run to the mailbox and back until he's panting so hard and in such a frenzy he can't run anymore.
* Doing something is better than doing nothing, unless of course you're sitting on your sofa, eating cheeze curls and waxing poetic about the meaning of your life!
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