Which tyre burst?

One night four MBA students were boozing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. Then they went up to the dean and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The Dean was a Just person so he said that you can have a retest after three days.

After 3 days they said they were ready. On the third day they appeared before the dean. The Dean said that as this was a special condition all four were required to be in separate rooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in last three days.

The test consisted of two question with a total marks of 100. 

Q1. Write down your Names. (2 marks)
Q2. Which tyre burst ? (98 marks) 

# SMILE #

S; Sets u Free.
M; Makes u Special
I; Increases ur Face value
L; Lifts up ur Spirit
E; Erases all ur Tensions 

So Smile yaar

A friend

A friend is like a flower,
A rose to be exact. 
Or maybe like a brand new gate, 
That never comes unlatched. 
A friend is like an owl, 
Both beautiful and wise. 
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, 
Who's spirit never dies. 
A friend is like those blades of grass, 
You can never mow, 
Standing tall and proud, 
In a perfect little row. 
A friend is like a heart that goes 
Strong until the end. 
Where would we be in this world, 
If we didn't have a friend....

*~Stupid Questions~*

People usually ask obvious situations and some equally stupid answers ! Read it .. and dont ask these questions in future..

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... 

Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here? 

Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... 

Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt? 

Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again? 

3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask... 

Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people. 

Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you? 

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter 

Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good? 

Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of cement. We occasionally also spit on it. 

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years. 

Stupid Question: Farena, Chickoo, you've become so big. 

Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... 

Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well? 

Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money. 

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... 

Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping? 

Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. 

And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb 

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... 

Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut? 

Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.

9.At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... 

Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts? 

Answer: No it won’t. It will just bleed. 

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...

Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke. 

Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames.

Dukh Zamane Ke

bhula diye hain tere gham ne dukh zamane ke
khuda nahi tha to patthar ki moorten thi buhat

pattharon se to chale aae hain bach ker laiken
dil ko hai khuaf ke phoolon se kuchle jaaenge

rang la ker hi raha akhir mera zauq junoon
raiza hoon magar patthar se takrata hoon mein

mein jis ke haath mein aik phool de ker aaya tha
ussi ke haath ka patthar meri talash mein hai

phool sajaen daman mein yeh zakhmon ki pehchan nahi
jo na kisi ka dukh baante woh patthar hai insan nahi

yun hi tameer hote rahe ager sheesh mahal
ik din shaher ki har raah mein patthar honge

mana ke chup rehne se pagal pan barh jaata hai
patthar ke iss shaher mein koun kisi se baat kare

Jab Sawan Main

jab sawan main tanha bheego gay
jab angan khalee pao gay

 

jab sahil say takrati lehron main
apni tanhae main kho jao gay

 

jab raat kay tanha daman main
tum chaand ko adha pao gay

 

jab khud say batain kartay kartay
tum door kahin kho jao gay

 

jab dil ki baat chupanay ko
ham say nazar tum churao gay

 

"main tum say mohabat karti hoon"
har baar yay sunna chaho gay

 

in sab lamhon main jaan lena kay
tum tum nahi "HUM" ban jao gay

Vaneeza ties the knot

Top fashion model Vaneeza Ahmad has married her friend Ali Afzal in a private ceremony in Lahore.

The nikkah ceremony was held in a mosque in Defence on July 27th.

Vaneeza’s bridal dress was designed by Umer Saeed while her make up was done by Athar Shehzad.

The valima function was held at Race course club, while only close friends and family members were invited to the wedding.

The model now plans to settle down in Islamabad and has sold her flat in Karachi. Vaneeza’s husband Ali Afzal lives in the U.S.

Shadi Se Pehle!

A lion held a huge party at his place ,He invited only his fellow lions.The lions were dancing when a mouse also came a joined in.
The lion asked the mouse why he entered the party when the other species were not invited.
The mouse said 'Shaadi se pehle main bhi sher tha'

Memory Clinic

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other," Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

Local Call

In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, Vajpyee and Musharraf decided to visit each others country regularly.

The first visit was by Musharraf to India. There Vajpyee showed him Indians modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Musharraf made a call to Zia-ul-Haq in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes ! The bill for the call came to only Re.1.
When Musharraf came back, he also wanted Pakistans telecommunication systems to be at the best when Vajpyee visited Pakistan. Suitable arrangements were made. Vajpyee came to Pakistan, visited the telecom department and talked to Rajiuv Gandhi in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!

Vajpyee asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in Pakistan ?" 
A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From India to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from Pakistan it is long distance!".